How to handle loneliness while travelling alone without spiralling

I’ve been solo travelling for four years now, yet loneliness is a feeling that still appears. On one of my recent solo trips to Japan, I loved exploring all day long at my own pace, but coming back to my hotel alone at night and not having anyone to share the special memories with hit hard. This trip had been on my bucket list for years, but in that moment, all I could feel was this sinking loneliness. Here, I’m sharing honest solo travel advice based on my own experiences, and the solo travel tips I now use to handle loneliness without spiralling.

One of my favourite things to do is sit in cafes alone and watch the world go by, but after six days in Japan, I was starting to crave conversation and connection.

Solo exploring Uji with my favourite matcha in hand.

As I sat in one of Osaka’s trendiest matcha cafes alone — literally the only customer in there — another woman walked in and was debating between clear matcha and strawberry matcha, which was exactly what I had just done five minutes earlier.

It felt like an opportunity to connect, so I spoke up and recommended she get the strawberry matcha. We ended up sitting together for two hours, chatting away.

Just before this, I had been feeling quite lonely, but I’m a big believer that when you’re solo travelling, you aren’t really alone — there are so many opportunities to connect with others if it starts to hit you, and people are more open than you think.

Feeling alone on solo trips is part of the experience, not a sign that you shouldn’t be doing this. Over time, confidence will build and you’ll actually prefer being alone. 

The matcha strawberry of dreams.

My Early Mistakes

I went on my first solo sbackpacking trip in 2024, and although I stayed in sociable hostels and was surrounded by other travellers daily, I still had moments where I felt lonely.

This is one of the most important solo travel advice lessons I’ve learned: loneliness can show up even when everything looks “right” on paper. You’re rarely ever physically alone, but you can still experience loneliness. For me, it came from not being able to see family, adjusting to new surroundings, and constantly processing unfamiliar environments on my own. All of that contributed to those feelings. Over time, that sense of loneliness has decreased, and I’ve honestly started to enjoy my own company more than I expected.

Chiang Mai was one of my first solo stops of Southeast Asia.

I also realised something quite specific about myself: I can comfortably do about six days of solo travel before I need some form of meaningful interaction.

Because of that, I’ve learned not to plan extremely long stretches completely alone without breaks. If I am doing a longer trip, I’ll either join group tours, connect with group chats to meet like-minded travellers in the area, or you can build in time in social hostels to break up the trip. It gives me the balance of independence and connection, and helps me reset before continuing on my own again.

Solo Travel Advice: What I Do When I Feel Lonely

As well as solo travelling, I also live alone in Bangkok. Of course, living here is different — I’ve built a community and established close friendships. However, being on the other side of the world, away from family I don’t see every day, there are still moments when loneliness can creep in.

It doesn’t happen often, but when it does, I’ve learned to see it as completely normal. Sometimes, I just let myself feel it — have a good cry, slow down, and listen to what I actually need in that moment. I’ve realised that it’s less about “fixing” the feeling and more about responding to it in a way that supports me.

Sometimes that looks like simple comforts — watching Emily in Paris with pizza, cookies, and a face mask. Other times, it means reaching out to friends, making plans, or even just getting outside for a walk, putting on music, or listening to a podcast that shifts my mood.

And this is something you can take with you when you travel, too. Just because you’re in a beautiful place, whether that’s an island or a city you’ve dreamed of, doesn’t mean you won’t have quieter, lower-energy days. You’re allowed to slow down, take care of yourself, and create moments that make you feel good.

Exploring Lumpini Park solo.

At the same time, if what you’re craving is connection, there are always small ways to open that door. Starting a conversation at a café, on the beach, in a bar, or in a hostel can feel daunting, but it often leads to more than you expect. If that feels like too much, you can ease into it — join local Facebook groups and post about wanting to connect, or use apps like Hostelworld to join group chats for your hostel or destination. It’s a simple way to meet like-minded people and feel a little less alone, if that’s what you need in that moment.

When Loneliness Is A Sign You Need To Adjust Your Trip

The more I’ve solo travelled, the more I’ve realised that instead of trying to push through it, it’s more helpful to ask why it’s showing up in the first place, because most of the time, it’s a sign that something in your trip needs to shift.

Sometimes, what feels like loneliness is actually overstimulation. If you’re feeling drained, disconnected, or emotionally flat, it’s usually a sign you’ve been taking in too much for too long. In those moments, it’s less about needing people and more about needing rest — slowing down, having a quiet day, and giving yourself space to reset.

Other times, it comes from a lack of meaningful connection. You might be surrounded by people, especially in hostels, but still feel slightly off. When that happens, it’s often a sign that you don’t need more interactions, you need better ones. Even one genuine conversation can completely shift how you feel.

Friends I made on a group trip to Greece.

If you find yourself with long, unstructured days, that’s often when loneliness starts to turn into overthinking. I’ve noticed this in myself a lot, which is why I now make sure I have small “anchor points” in my day, whether that’s a café in the morning, a walk in the afternoon, or something planned in the evening. That small amount of structure makes a big difference.

There are also moments, especially on longer trips, where what you’re really craving is familiarity. If you start missing home more than usual, it’s often a sign you need a bit more comfort or routine. I try to recreate that in small ways by going back to the same café, eating something familiar, or building simple routines into my days.

Solo activities in Bangkok.

I realised loneliness doesn’t appear with more travel experience, you just get better at handling it.

It stops feeling like something that ruins your trip, and starts feeling like something you understand. Something you can respond to, instead of spiralling.

Most of my solo travel advice comes down to never feeling lonely; it’s about knowing what to do when it happens. Once you have that, you stop questioning whether you can travel alone — because you know you can handle whatever comes with it. 

If you’re feeling nervous about your first solo trip, you don’t have to figure it out alone. Send me a message on Instagram, @sallysolotravels, and I can share solo travel advice and how to build your confidence step by step.